We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
