my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
