just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
