party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
