I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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