If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
