Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Randomize
