i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
