Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
