its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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