Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
