So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
