LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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