my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
