it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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