Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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