1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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