Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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