Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize