i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
