i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
