Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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