I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
