I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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