It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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