Duck Duck Cougar?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
