He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Four minutes until I can fart!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You left your underwear on the fireplace
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
