im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
