this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
