Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
