Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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