He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
