Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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