your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
