okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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