do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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