It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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