the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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