I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
