She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
