He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
