And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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