Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize