just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
