so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
