how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
