My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
