I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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