I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
