Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
