I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
