i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
