Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
