she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize