So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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