Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I could have mohawked her pubes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
