Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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